Wednesday, February 27, 2013

You know that feeling when you realize you are seriously insane? We're there.

Some of my in real life friends have been texting and emailing me asking if I have lost my ever loving mind because I appear a little bit... stressed.

And I feel like I have.

But it's not just that I'm overwhelmed with the fact that I consistently take on too much, but also because the stuff that I do normally is backing up. All of my mail, my to-do pile, my laundry, my regular crazy person cleaning routines, everything is spinning out of control. And one thing we know about me is that I like to be in control because I am crazy and you just have to love me through it. The problem here is that I am really confused as to why  nobody else in my house can understand why I can't walk into my dining room without huffing and having the beginnings of an anxiety attack.

When we got our new bedroom furniture, it meant that all of the stuff in our room had to go somewhere else to make room for the guys who delivered it to put it all together. And then our dressers went to the kids' rooms, their dressers came downstairs, and yeah. It was more mess than I anticipated. So for five days, when I'd walk into the kitchen, I'd see this:
 Oh, hello Robert surrounding by what looks like a hoarder's dining room.

 But then once you walked in? I have a situation.It's end tables I am going to re-purpose, bins of yard sale stuff, baby gifts that hadn't been mailed yet, out of control kid craft shit the kids refuse to put away, Matt's bin of absolute shit he refuses to get rid of even though he can't tell you what's in there, and a TV under the window that he believes we'll need.
And then you look over here and I've got dressers just randomly in the middle with a little kids table I don't know what to do with and it's like... I CAN'T EVEN SIT AT MY FUCKING TABLE AND EAT MY CEREAL. 
Oh and Olivia has taken to carrying around Lola Louise like a baby. I'm pretty sure she hates it and stays still long enough for Olivia to lose interest.

I'm not even going to talk about the milk cap situation in my back porch that I need to count, box, and mail for my kids' school. Or the fact I haven't cleaned my bathroom in two days and I can barely stand it. I don't know if I can even shower without cleaning it tonight but I'm so damn exhausted I don't know if I have it in me to do it. I ask Matt if the fact that there is STUFF everywhere is bothering him and he says no.

How can that even be?

The only sunshine here is that Jackson asks me every day if he can dust and wash windows. So at least those two areas are in good shape.

My goal tomorrow is to make a list of everything that I need to get done by Sunday night so I don't become homicidal clutching my steam mop while rocking in the corner. It's important I do this. Even Matt says my level of crazy has gone up a notch and he probably fears for his life. So I need to do this. I'm probably totally mental when you consider I can't function without lists, control, and order but it literally makes me feel better.

Just love me through it.

And help carry shit to the garage.

4 comments:

Eileen Ward said...

Wow...you need some xanax. This level of anxiety is not good for u. Also, count your blessings. It took me three months to get my husband to clean his own piss off the bathroom floor and toilet. im sure he re-peed on it that night. I gave up. Life is happier.
Going back to my own freakout about 20 ppl being in my house on Saturday.

Shannon @ Bungalow960 said...

I am in a similar situation. I think I'm going crazy from stress. Seriously. And I don't even know what to do about it.

Eileen Ward said...

This inspired me to take pictures of the shit hole that my house is turning into for this swap tomorrow. Btw, my husband who, as of noon is unemployed, is napping with a cat on his lap, wearing nothing but a bathrobe and an eye patch. Help!

Life Love & High Heels said...

I know I definitely have my moments for sure of feeling entirely insane. What helps me is knowing it'll pass. No matter what is going on, it'll pass. I hope you start feeling better soon. You know I'm here if you need anything or just to vent :)