And I feel like I have.
But it's not just that I'm overwhelmed with the fact that I consistently take on too much, but also because the stuff that I do normally is backing up. All of my mail, my to-do pile, my laundry, my regular crazy person cleaning routines, everything is spinning out of control. And one thing we know about me is that I like to be in control because I am crazy and you just have to love me through it. The problem here is that I am really confused as to why nobody else in my house can understand why I can't walk into my dining room without huffing and having the beginnings of an anxiety attack.
When we got our new bedroom furniture, it meant that all of the stuff in our room had to go somewhere else to make room for the guys who delivered it to put it all together. And then our dressers went to the kids' rooms, their dressers came downstairs, and yeah. It was more mess than I anticipated. So for five days, when I'd walk into the kitchen, I'd see this:
And then you look over here and I've got dressers just randomly in the middle with a little kids table I don't know what to do with and it's like... I CAN'T EVEN SIT AT MY FUCKING TABLE AND EAT MY CEREAL.
I'm not even going to talk about the milk cap situation in my back porch that I need to count, box, and mail for my kids' school. Or the fact I haven't cleaned my bathroom in two days and I can barely stand it. I don't know if I can even shower without cleaning it tonight but I'm so damn exhausted I don't know if I have it in me to do it. I ask Matt if the fact that there is STUFF everywhere is bothering him and he says no.
How can that even be?
The only sunshine here is that Jackson asks me every day if he can dust and wash windows. So at least those two areas are in good shape.
My goal tomorrow is to make a list of everything that I need to get done by Sunday night so I don't become homicidal clutching my steam mop while rocking in the corner. It's important I do this. Even Matt says my level of crazy has gone up a notch and he probably fears for his life. So I need to do this. I'm probably totally mental when you consider I can't function without lists, control, and order but it literally makes me feel better.
Just love me through it.
And help carry shit to the garage.