Because quite frankly, I don't believe a 7 year old should have any of the following:
- cell phones
- iPads or any kind of tablet
- Extravagant birthday parties with 30+ kids
You know what? Fuck you. Because I know have a daughter who is asking for not only a laptop for her birthday, but she wants a cell phone so she can text her friend and then a Nook or Kindle Fire to read and then for sure an iPod because cd's are for losers.
She actually said they are for losers. I swear I felt a pang in my heart as I have three in my purse right now. It's god damn tragic, is what it is.
When I was younger the definition of a cool kid was based on the jeans and shoes you had. When I was in first grade (like Olivia is now), you were the shit if you had a Trapper Keeper. I remember really wanting one but just kind of knew my mom couldn't afford that but somehow (maybe from help of an uncle) I got one. I also got a Lisa Frank folder to go in it and it's pretty much like popping my cherry right then and there. I was so bad ass. Never mind I didn't know how to use the multiplication tables or the conversion charts and I used it to store my stickers and artwork instead of you know, actual homework, but still. I really really awesome when I was the only one at my table with one.
Then in third grade light up shoes were the thing. I do remember my mom driving us all over the place looking for light up shoes. I ended up getting a really ugly pair I said fit but were really a half size too small. By the time school started that fad had ended and I had to go the entire school year with these ugly ass, too small shoes. And you know within a month only one light works so I looked stupid.
In sixth grade, I really wanted an Espirit bag (never got it) and Nikes. I didn't get Nikes either. I got knock off, old lady Reebok's and hated life. Not only did I suck in gym class and couldn't do any pull up's or climb a rope (still can't do either), but I had to be shamed wearing my old lady shoes.
By middle school I was starting to get more firm about not going to school looking like a dork. I begged, absolutely BEGGED for a pair of Nikes. I got a pair of old lady tennis shoes and they were ugly. But who fucking cares- it had the swoosh and that's all that mattered. I still sucked in gym though.
In high school my only requirements for wardrobe so I didn't get beat up were at least Levi's instead of Target jeans and a Champion hoodie. I got both and that was basically it. It was enough to keep me out of the dork pool but nowhere near the popular pool. Which, at least I didn't get beat up. Nobody even paid any attention to me and in hindsight, that was probably OK.
But kids are different today. They don't really care about clothes or anything (at least yet), they want electronics. First up, there's no reason she can't do her learning games on my laptop, she doesn't need her own. She gets really angry when I give her a 30 minute limit every other day. I don't need my kid geeking out yet. The phone? No. There is no reason for a seven year old to have a phone. There should be no reason for your kid to be home alone and need a phone to "check in" when they get home. No, Olivia wants to text her friends. Um, no.
The eReader? Ugh. I kind of get it. But then again, I want my kid to enjoy holding an actual book in her hand, get excited walking through a library or a book store by just being surrounded by all of the possibilities. So no. No to that. Tablets and shit? No. It's basically a big phone that you can't call from but it's not as versatile as a laptop. There's no need.
And the birthday parties with every kid in your grade? Stop that shit. Because when you do that? The rest of us practical parents hope your kid gets sick and has to cancel the party and you're out all of that money. OR that someone slashes your tires in the parking lot when you have a meltdown with a crowd of party kids surrounding you.
I know that's not just me that thinks that.
And what are we teaching our kids if we give them these things now? Seriously? How the fuck do we out-do ourselves next year? By the time they are 16 it'll be boob jobs and liposuction. We're the entitled generation as it is, what's this generation going to be like then? Good grief.