Tuesday, May 14, 2013

What about the new house? Or, how we might be homeless for 15 days.

It can never be said my life hasn't been full of adventure. In fact, I can't think of one thing in my life that went smoothly and without stress, drama, multiple bathroom trips, and middle of the night runs to Walmart for toilet paper. It really is quite the life I lead. I should never have thought that selling and buying a house at the same time would be easy, smooth, or enjoyable.

Perhaps I really am insane after all. Let's give you a run down of what my last week was like, shall we?


  • Listed our house on the market two weeks ago as of tomorrow. 
  • Last week we received four offers to purchase our home. 
  • We sorted through them all and picked one on Friday. 
  • We even looked at more houses, one of which was so horrific I want to say "Give her a raise!" to the Realtor who took the pictures because by god, those pictures were deceiving. 
  • We decided on a big, purple/blue house that has been on the market and vacant for the last 7 months. Sure, it's old, but it's solid. It's big, it's something we could really grow into as a family. 
  • So after picking a buyer for our house, we put an offer in on our Purple Dream. 
  • We go the entire weekend with loose bowel movements and briefly debate the merits of Depends because both of us are fighting over a bathroom. 
  • Monday comes and guess what? Our Purple Dream sellers are assholes. They counter a ridiculous amount. We counter back with a less ridiculous amount. 
  • They re-counter, standing firm. We say fine, but you're leaving your swing set/play set, appliances AND your porch furniture. Whores. (Except our Realtor says we can't call them whores. Apparently that looks bad.)
  • They take their sweet fucking time getting back to us and finally agree. Douchebags. 
  • We find out that HEY! The sale of our house is happening June 13 (30 days as of yesterday) but hold the fucking phone- there's a very good chance we cannot close on our Purple Dream in less than 45. 
  • We are now in the predicament of being homeless for 15 days. Sadsies. 
  • Quietly regretting selling the mini-van afterall. 
  • Start packing anyways because no matter where we are, the new buyers are not going to want our crap in here. 
  • We cannot afford a POD (holy shit I'd have to sell myself for a solid week), we cannot afford a storage unit and yay! Our parent's basements and garages are already full. Awesome. 
  • There is a really good chance we might be living in a Uhaul. At least for 9 days because the other 6 of that we're in Florida. But our three mentally deficient cats are with us so... I don't know that they would handle a Uhaul for that long really well. 
  • Today we got papers from the bank and we electronically signed them. 
  • Only afterwards did I realize it's the wrong offer amount. 
  • Lots of swears started happening as well as frantic emailing to nice bank lady. 
So that's where we are as of RIGHT NOW. There are lots of things freaking me out aside from being homeless. While that's not ideal, I'm more worried that something totally out of our control will derail everything. Like, what if the home inspection finds something wrong with our current house that we don't even know about? That would suck. I hope if they find anything that the buyer isn't a psycho and flips out and just says screw it all. 

Mostly because I spent and entire weekend packing my scrapbooking shit and my books. It took me all weekend, folks. Put that into perspective. That's only 4 shelves and a closet. I'm basically screwed. And out of boxes. 

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3 comments:

Ruth said...

Can you rent one of those weekly apartments for a couple weeks? Not cheap by any means though.
That really does suck.

Martha Woods said...

OMG hun, I hope you get this all straightened out! Maybe check into those weekly motel rates like Ruth mentioned? It would be better than sleeping in a truck.

I hope someday you can look back at this and laugh!

Jes said...

This happened to us when we bought our condo. Luckily we were able to move in and essentially rent it from the owners until the closing. Way better than having to move into somewhere temporarily and then move into the condo.