Before you read this, you have to read the original toilet post to fully understand what I'm up against in the house when it comes to the toilet situation up in here.
The downstairs toilet with the gross bowl... you all gave me GREAT suggestions. I braved it and lifted the tank lid to see what exactly was happening in there. Lots of you mentioned maybe draining the tank, cleaning it all out, and then refilling it to see if maybe that was the issue and save me the cost of buying a new toilet.
Oh well I almost threw up.
Why? Oh because a little thing like MOLD is all up in there. And it's not like I can just clean it because as it turns out, the tank is something called an insulated tank whereas there is like Styrofoam lining it so it doesn't sweat or something. Bitches I have a moldy toilet. I can't clean Styrofoam! That's like trying to reuse those cheapy Styrofoam coolers after your potato salad falls over in it.
You just don't do it- it's wrong.
So instead of dealing with the issue, I put the tank lid back on and told Matt maybe he should clean it and see what happens.
That was a week ago. It hasn't been clean. Maybe he made the discovery as well and we're too broke to just go buy a new toilet.
Oh but we have to because last week I am fairly confident I solved the mystery of toilet #2 which is upstairs- the weird leaking one. I mentioned that the toilet is still leaking, which caused me to slip and fall on my ass and proceed to pee my pajamas once Stumpy fell into the toilet. And I've been (maybe literally) yelling at Matt to fix this shit because A) I hate mopping, B) it's gross, C) even grosser when the animals lick up the water and D) it could be causing a huge problem and I'm not trying to have a ceiling collapse into my office because of toilet water.
He remains stumped.
Until last week when I made the grossest discovery ever. You see, my discovery came when I sat on the toilet and it became clear that this water? Is coming from a crack in the bowl. It's either that, or there is a crack somewhere so that the water in the bowl is what comes out of the toilet.
Gee Sara, how did you figure that out? That seems pretty specific.
Well last week I had my period. And men of the world won't understand this, but ladies with an obscenely, and absolutely unnecessary, heavy period will turn the entire bowl red with period and pee. It's disgusting and I wouldn't even talk about it but it's pertinent to my discovery. So after I pee for awhile and my bladder once again feels glorious, I look down and see that my bathroom floor? Has a red puddle. A very dark red puddle. So like any scientist would do, I flushed the toilet, then sat back down again- and the red puddle got bigger, and a little lighter, because oh hello- I just pushed clean water into the mix.
See? I'm kind of like a legit scientist.
I clearly had to share this discovery with Matt who said I was being gross and that means we need a new toilet.
Here's hoping there is a really good buy one/get one deal soon.