I was recently talking to my friend who recently celebrated her ten year wedding anniversary with her husband and we both realized that of our friends, we're the oddballs. Matt and I will have been married ten years this coming June and I've long felt that if we made it that far- we should celebrate. The fact is, ten years is a long time. Then when you take into consideration the divorce rate and how willy nilly people are to get married, it feels like an even bigger obstacle.
Matt and I got married knowing it was going to be difficult, we may not always agree or even like each other, but so long we could keep the foundation steady, we would be OK. And no doubt, we have had some serious challenges along the way. I was only 22 and he was 23 when we got married so we were practically babies. I think back to what we were like at those ages and how inexperience at life we were and I often wonder why anyone would agree to let us get married in the first place. How could we possibly understand the commitment and the real work it takes to keep a marriage going. But the fact is so many people don't know until they hit a rough spot and they realize they didn't have what it takes as a couple to weather it.
And by all means, getting through infidelity, betrayal, lying, financial issues, parenting, etc is really tough. It's not easy, it's really a difficult path to go and not everyone makes it. Most don't.
Matt and I did.
So as I look to our ten year anniversary I want to do something that celebrates that, and gives us a good send off for the next ten and beyond.
I thought about a vow renewal, but quite frankly, it's like a wedding re-do and we don't have the money to do that. I thought about having a dinner with some of our closest friends and family, but we also can't pay for everyone and then you run into the etiquette issue of having a dinner and asking people to pay their way and I don't know how I feel about that or what the proper way of handling that is. Then I thought about having something just at our house and while I love my house and love to entertain, I don't know if that's quite right either. Any ideas?
The other thing we've decided is that him and I are going to go on a vacation, just the two of us. We did it for our trip to Las Vegas a few years ago and we really had such a great time. It was really nice to remember when it was just us and our mini-trips and how much fun we had. So I think we'll do something similar but this time maybe head towards Arizona and do some beginner hiking and see some random things.
And I realize ten years isn't a big deal to most people, but it really is for us. There was a time where I didn't think we'd make it to ten, much less five, yet here we are. When I think of how hard I have worked at this relationship, and how hard Matt has, I'm proud of us. We aren't perfect, we still struggle, but we're trying together and that's all that you can really ask for.