Wednesday, September 11, 2013

God DAMN.

Is anybody else reading the series on MSN about the adoption "re-homing" epidemic? If not, you have to. It's horrifying and scary. As a parent, I don't understand the people who beat their kids and quite frankly, I don't know how anyone can use the excuse of "I got pregnant on accident" anymore when there are so many options at your disposal.

Anyways.

So the condensed version of this is that people who really want to be parents adopt kids. Sometimes these are American born kids but are more often internationally born kids. And anyone who knows anything knows that kids born internationally and are not adopted immediately at birth will be in orphanages which aren't known to be loving and give you the warm and fuzzies. Oftentimes these kids have mental, social, emotional, physical disabilities and can be hard to raise. There is no doubt that if you adopt a child with "issues" it is often a long and difficult road to travel. As a parent with "normal" children, I cannot begin to understand how hard it would be do this.

But at the end of the day-  no matter how your child is if they are conceived and birthed by you, you love them. You parent them through it. You nurture them, you do your best. You never, ever give up. And that should be the same if you adopt a child. If you adopt a child who isn't what you hoped and dreamed- oh well. You made that choice. You don't just say you can't do it and then re-home them.

I'm reading this articles horrified because I can't even imagine a parent just dumping their child off to a complete stranger. A stranger who could very well sexually assault your child. A stranger who could sell them in child sex rings. There are people out there who do vile, horrible, scary things to children for fun and these parents think it's OK to take that chance? Because it got too hard?

Well guess what, assholes? Parenting IS hard. It isn't meant to be easy. If your kid isn't what you hoped they would be? Try harder. Giving up on them and dumping them with potential abusers isn't the answer. How do you think those kids feel knowing that their parents thought that dumping them in these places was a better option than trying harder?

Then I think- how can you re-home a child with no paperwork? Wouldn't you have to have something to bring them to the doctor? Enroll in school? No. Of course you wouldn't if you never brought them to the doctor and you home schooled. Nobody would ever have to know you were acquiring children and doing god knows what to them.

I don't think I really know what a child has to do in order for you to not care at all? I mean, instead of taking the child back to the adoption agency, or even the state welfare system as screwed up as it is, you choice to go and do something shady and hand the kid off to anyone? Absolutely anyone?

If that's the case- you should have all of your kids taken away. I really believe that. As a parent you can't just pick and choose which ones you'll love. You really can't. Every kid has their faults, some worse than others, but you are their parent. No matter how badly things go wrong, they need to know that no matter what- there you are. Even when they are bad. Even when they are good. Even when they don't understand why they are the way they are- they need to know that there is somebody out there that 100% no matter what, loves them, and provides a safe spot for them to be.

But no. You have parents out there who give up, and essentially toss the kids away. It makes me wish I could adopt them myself but I can't. The thought of children, who need real help and love, being tossed away because it's too hard breaks my heart. I can't even imagine. It's right up there with the parents who just care so little about their kids that they come to school functions drunk or can't wash their kids' clothing regularly and send them to school in the winter without the proper winter clothing.

So read the series. It's really an eye opener.


5 comments:

Martha Woods said...

That's really sad. I'm not even a "kid person" and I could not imagine doing this to a poor child! It's not their fault they are not 100% perfect, that's part of the parenting package! These people DO deserve to have all their kids taken away...and perhaps be sterilized as well.

Veronica M. D. said...

I just read it last night with my mouth hanging open the entire time. Unbelieveable and horrifying.

Mom Taxi Julie said...

Holy crap!! I just read all 3 articles. So disturbing. I read a book once about a child molester and that crap does not come out of your head. SCARY SCARY STUFF.

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

I've been reading that series too and WOW!. I wondered about the paperwork as well. My first thought was "how do you get them on your insurance?" I know a simple power of attorney can take care of a lot of legal things like school registration. My parents took in a boy from a baseball team my dad was coaching when his dad died & his mom totally fell apart for about a year. Her power of attorney gave them the legal power for school & to take him to the docs & sign him up for some form of welfare support but not to get him on their insurance or taxes.
As for giving up an older child you adopted.. well, I know someone who did that but they did it after months of therapy & intervention by the adoption agency & social services and the services moved her to a new home with an older couple who had no sons. (She had been abused by her step brothers & just couldn't cope with the friend's sons. She got violent & in the end it was deemed for the best she was in a different family) so I can understand what might bring a person to that point. Loving them enough to let them go to a better place for them.
But to just pick random people off of a yahoo newsgroup. How do you do that? There is support out there before you reach that point and support if in the end it comes to it.

Tamara said...

What the fuck. I can't even.