Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Time just keeps trucking along.



I've gotten lots of emails asking how I've been considering I've been a bit quiet the last few days. Overall, I'm OK. I can go several hours without crying and that's always a good thing.

Friday was pretty awful. I honestly didn't know what to expect with a follow up ultrasound. Thankfully, I asked my mom to come with me because at the last minute I didn't know if I really wanted to go alone. So she came and that was really helpful. I think having her there made me not break down in total tears because she would have told me to buck up and I would have. But I'll be honest- I couldn't look at the ultrasound. I just took the doctor's word for it that things looked good. My uterine lining is still ridiculously thick so all of that has yet to come out and then that means my HcG levels drop. Those have to go back to zero. Which means sometime this week (probably Thursday) I'll go in real quick to get a blood draw to see where I'm at. I keep going until that is back at zero.

Physically, I feel better. Not great, but better. I'm still having cramping but the contractions stopped around Saturday night. I felt fine most of Friday until after my appointment and then they started up again. On Saturday Matt and I ran errands and that wasn't smart. I ended up in a lot of pain and who knew walking around that much would trigger contractions? *sigh* But let's just say I was mighty thankful that I had put extra pads into my purse because I went through quite a few. And I had a really awkward moment while getting frozen yogurt when I just absolutely knew I was passing a blood clot or something. I remember the first time that ever happened to me after I had Olivia and it was disgusting. Thank god the place had a bathroom and Matt stood there holding my frozen yogurt, not totally sure what was happening.

He's a good guy, that one.

We went out to dinner at a really shitty place on Saturday. I mean, it was pretty gross. But we had planned to go see a movie and I'm just not a huge movie person so unless I'm in the mood, meh. So we opted to drive to Two Harbors instead and walk out to the lighthouse. Poor Matt didn't have a jacket so he basically froze his nipples off and I couldn't make it all the way to the end without feeling ridiculously crampy, but it was nice to be alone with him for awhile.
Sunday was kind of rough. The kids were coming back from spending the weekend with Matt's parents and I was missing them, but also wasn't sure if I could just deal with the loudness after having such a quiet weekend. But it turned out to be fine and they were missing me and spent an hour telling me all about their weekend. 

Yesterday was a bit of a rough day. I am working alone and full time hours this week since my boss is on vacation, and that's fine. I thought I was OK to be here all of that time but it proved to not be the case. Maybe it's too quiet so I just sit and think? I cried a few times at work yesterday. Not just because of the miscarriage and thinking about that, but I'm really frustrated with the health care system in general. I need to see a doctor for my high blood pressure before I have surgery next Thursday for my face. Do you think anyone cares? Nope. The soonest I can get in is September and beyond. If I tell them what my blood pressure is all of the time, they tell me to go to the ER. Which, great. If I had decent health insurance I would. But I don't and I cannot afford that. I don't even care which doctor I see at this point, I just want someone to tell me if it's safe to go under general anesthesia or if I should post pone the surgery. Which I don't want to do because my face is killing me and I want this damn tooth out. 

*sigh*

So far, my week is shaping up to be a bit rough. I really hope I have enough money to do something fun this weekend with the kids. Their last day of school is Friday and they keep asking if we're doing anything. I was hoping to go to a different zoo than our local one and combine it with Father's Day, but we'll see. 

1 comments:

thotlady said...

Nice photo of you and Matt.