I realize that it's not realistic that my kids will believe in Santa forever. I know this. I really have been in some serious denial that my kids are inching closer and closer to that point where I have to explain to them what Santa is and how to still celebrate Christmas and not feel like you've been cheated. Does that make sense? I have no doubt that my kids know what Christmas is really about and how to celebrate it with a bright and giving heart. No doubt.
I'm still sad.
Here's the thing: a few weeks ago Olivia mentioned in the car, on the way home from school, that some kids in her class were talking about how Santa wasn't real. Thank god I was driving because I don't think I would have been able to keep a straight face. I very calmly asked her what she thought about it, and she told me she still believed.
But my heart broke a little bit. Because I know my time with her like this is coming to an end.
So this year I'm trying to just soak it all up with her. I think even with all of this, she's doubting everything. I do know this is the last year for all of this with her, I just know it. So now my next issue is how to explain to her about Santa and not have it be a let down for her. Does that make sense?
My fear is that she'll say or do something and ruin it for Jackson. I don't think she would do it on purpose, I really don't. I just feel a little brokenhearted that kids really do grow up. It feels like once a kid doesn't believe in Santa it's like a little piece of childhood dies.
So here's my question for you:
How do I explain Santa to Olivia without ruining Christmas for her, and how to get her to not feel like it's not as fun?
I feel like this is just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. Like this is the first tough conversation we'll have with her so I feel all of this pressure to get it right. This is the kind of thing they don't explain to you in those parenting magazines or What to Expect books. Diapers and teething are nothing compared to this kind of stuff.
4 comments:
I'm 5 years older than my sister. When I had outgrown Santa, my parents had me help hide stuff around the house and keep up the guide for my sister. Being let in on the secret helped keep me from spilling the beans. I felt grown up and special, not cheated or tricked.
"If you don't believe, then you won't receive" is what I told my girls when they brought it up that Santa wasn't real. We never really discussed it after that until one day the oldest at 10/11ish pulled out a tooth and handed it to me. I questioned her on it and she said she knew that none of it was real. I again told her the same thing I said about Santa. She said - well then, I am going to set it right on the counter so if you want it its there and you can leave some money if you want too. I laughed and Dad told her to put it in an envelope and put it up there. Since that day, I never have to try to remember being the tooth fairy at night and also christmas is soooooo much easier!
You know your kids bettter than I do, obviously. But, if she isn't asking a direct question, "Is Santa real?", I don't think she wants to "know" the truth yet. I would give her as much time as she wants to still believe. Many kids, long after they know, just keep pretending they don't-to keep the magic alive.
I confronted my parents about it - kids didn't ruin it for me. I straight up asked my Mom "Why does Santa have your handwriting??" My sister is 2 years older than me and I think I ruined it for HER. My Mom tried to say that Santa is very busy and he needed help writing the labels. I didn't buy it. It never ruined Christmas for me - I realized I shouldn't expect more presents now that Santa wasn't a thing, but I was never upset over it.
My parents still put one or two gifts out "From Santa". I don't think Santa not being real is that huge of a deal, but again, I don't have kids. I think as long as she still believes in the reason for the season and continues to view it as a special time of year filled with love and family and all that good stuff, she won't be bummed.
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