Ashley Madison wants you to be a dirty skeez: So we all know that the Ashley Madison website, which exists solely for people to actively cheat on their spouse, was hacked. Sad face for them, amazing for the rest of us. Unless of course it was your spouse on there and if that's the case I feel absolutely horrified on your behalf. We also know that Josh Duggar was on there and honestly, is that a shock to anyone? I'll just say quickly that I feel so terrible for his wife. First off, the situation she's in is the worst. She was raised into a culture where divorce is unacceptable and if you get divorced you are basically cast off onto your own. Now, even if she decided "screw this, I'm out of here", they have kids. Josh would likely get joint custody or at minimum, visitation. But she would be sending her children to a man, unsupervised, who had no qualms about molesting his sisters, do we really think he'd restrain himself with his children? I doubt it. If I were here I'd hate to say it, but I'd probably stay and hate my life but you best believe I wouldn't touch him for nothing. Sad stuff. But there's also the vlogger who surprised his wife with her pregnancy test? I have thoughts on that and they aren't in his favor, but what is interesting is he's as Bible thumping as they get and yet... he's on Ashley Madison. It's hard to take anyone seriously who is so clearly a hypocrite. You have zero right to judge anyone else when you find it acceptable to cheat on your wife because though I'm no expert, pretty sure you shouldn't covet thy neighbor.
Pregnancy Lips? God dammit, Kim Kardashian. You are a terrible liar and absolutely nobody believes you that you do not go in and get fillers for your damn lips. I've been pregnant three times and the only things that get bigger are: my boobs, my ass, my thighs, and my stomach. My lips do not swell up as if I've been stung by 103 bees. The only lips that could possibly get larger are your vagina lips, and unless she's put those on her face... then I don't know what she's talking about. Also? Who would want to kiss that? I'm just saying I think a lot of drool is involved.
Dogs Sniff Porn. Honest to god, I saw this and thought for sure it was an article on The Onion. Nope, there are actual police dogs that sniff out porn. It helped bust that Subway pervert, Jared Fogle. No, I am not kidding.
China is an asshole. I think anyone with half a brain could have predicted that China couldn't be awesome forever. And since so many people are dependent on China's financial well being to stay afloat, news of the stock market in what sounds like a free fall is making people panic. None of should be surprised but dammit if I'm not pissed that we'll never get to retire. Or I might, but we'll never have enough for me to really be the Golden Girl I want to be when I grow up.
Minnesota is more dangerous than Somalia? I am going to fully acknowledge that Minnesota does have gang activity. In some parts of Minnesota, specifically near the Minneapolis/St.Paul area, it gets pretty dicey and I certainly wouldn't be walking around alone and I wouldn't want to raise a child in that environment. What I would do is maybe move to another city, or another part of the city if I had to but I would not send my child to god damn SOMALIA. Nobody ever is like, "You know where I want to go? Somalia. It's so lovely and peaceful." Somalia is like, 24/7 violence. I'd venture to say Somalia is 1000 times worse than Minnesota. I mean, Minnesota Nice and all of that. But this is just killing me, parents who are sending their children to countries out east and wondering why bad things happen to them. It's like signing up for the Army, being sent to war and then saying, "Oh I didn't think I'd actually have to you know, shoot a gun". Um, what? Stop being stupid. Just stop it already.
So that's the news this week. Have a news story you want me to comment on? Comment here and you just might get featured! In the meantime, follow me on Bloglovin' so you don't miss a damn thing.