Friday, August 28, 2015

In the news: the best hack job,

Aw yeah, another week of In the News! This week is super fun.

Ashley Madison wants you to be a dirty skeez: So we all know that the Ashley Madison website, which exists solely for people to actively cheat on their spouse, was hacked. Sad face for them, amazing for the rest of us. Unless of course it was your spouse on there and if that's the case I feel absolutely horrified on your behalf. We also know that Josh Duggar was on there and honestly, is that a shock to anyone? I'll just say quickly that I feel so terrible for his wife. First off, the situation she's in is the worst. She was raised into a culture where divorce is unacceptable and if you get divorced you are basically cast off onto your own. Now, even if she decided "screw this, I'm out of here", they have kids. Josh would likely get joint custody or at minimum, visitation. But she would be sending her children to a man, unsupervised, who had no qualms about molesting his sisters, do we really think he'd restrain himself with his children? I doubt it. If I were here I'd hate to say it, but I'd probably stay and hate my life but you best believe I wouldn't touch him for nothing. Sad stuff. But there's also the vlogger who surprised his wife with her pregnancy test? I have thoughts on that and they aren't in his favor, but what is interesting is he's as Bible thumping as they get and yet... he's on Ashley Madison. It's hard to take anyone seriously who is so clearly a hypocrite. You have zero right to judge anyone else when you find it acceptable to cheat on your wife because though I'm no expert, pretty sure you shouldn't covet thy neighbor.

Pregnancy Lips? God dammit, Kim Kardashian. You are a terrible liar and absolutely nobody believes you that you do not go in and get fillers for your damn lips. I've been pregnant three times and the only things that get bigger are: my boobs, my ass, my thighs, and my stomach. My lips do not swell up as if I've been stung by 103 bees. The only lips that could possibly get larger are your vagina lips, and unless she's put those on her face... then I don't know what she's talking about. Also? Who would want to kiss that? I'm just saying I think a lot of drool is involved.

Dogs Sniff Porn. Honest to god, I saw this and thought for sure it was an article on The Onion. Nope, there are actual police dogs that sniff out porn. It helped bust that Subway pervert, Jared Fogle. No, I am not kidding.

China is an asshole. I think anyone with half a brain could have predicted that China couldn't be awesome forever. And since so many people are dependent on China's financial well being to stay afloat, news of the stock  market in what sounds like a free fall is making people panic. None of should be surprised but dammit if I'm not pissed that we'll never get to retire. Or I might, but we'll never have enough for me to really be the Golden Girl I want to be when I grow up.

Minnesota is more dangerous than Somalia? I am going to fully acknowledge that Minnesota does have gang activity. In some parts of Minnesota, specifically near the Minneapolis/St.Paul area, it gets pretty dicey and I certainly wouldn't be walking around alone and I wouldn't want to raise a child in that environment. What I would do is maybe move to another city, or another part of the city if I had to but I would not send my child to god damn SOMALIA. Nobody ever is like, "You know where I want to go? Somalia. It's so lovely and peaceful." Somalia is like, 24/7 violence. I'd venture to say Somalia is 1000 times worse than Minnesota. I mean, Minnesota Nice and all of that. But this is just killing me, parents who are sending their children to countries out east and wondering why bad things happen to them. It's like signing up for the Army, being sent to war and then saying, "Oh I didn't think I'd actually have to you know, shoot a gun". Um, what? Stop being stupid. Just stop it already.

So that's the news this week. Have a news story you want me to comment on? Comment here and you just might get featured! In the meantime, follow me on Bloglovin' so you don't miss a damn thing.

Welcome to Sara's Organized Chaos

14 comments:

Erica Musyt said...

OMG...pregnancy lips? she's full of it, that's for sure :)

Kay Black said...

I wish lips were the only thing that got big when I was pregnant!!

Chelsea Hutson said...

How could a dog possibly sniff out porn? That is amazing (and blowing my mind!) As for the Duggar clan... I personally feel duped by them! I thought they were such a sweet family and admired them, but after reading a ton into their past and beliefs, I am surprised they didn't implode sooner. Poor Anna.

The Flynnigans said...

All of the Kardashians are whack, yo! Straight up.

I actually rarely read the news nowadays. So much crap, tragedy and senseless BS. It's depressing.

Nichole Miller said...

Hahaha. Yet again another brilliant post!

Mattie @ Northwest Native said...

I can't believe only THREE zip codes in the entire country had no Ashley Madison users. THREE. I'm from a town of like 2,500 people so I wish I could search the database by zip code. (Does that make me a horrible person? Oh well!) I read an article that at least 400 people who are employed by/super involved in their churches will be stepping down because they were on Ashley Madison. Seriously?! I knew about this site but didn't think it was such a huge deal. Especially because people have affairs without it...

Kim K is a nut job. And so is Kanye. I wonder how old their baby will be before she's allowed to get lip injections.

Shann Soiney said...

I would like to take Kim, Kanye, Jared, and Josh, lock them up, and throw away the key. They all just gross me out.

Mom on the Move said...

It's really sad what you will find in the news and what the world is doing. I really wish the news would report on some of the good going on in the world. It wouldn't have to be so depressing!

Cynthia said...

The world is going to shit, just saying
Cynthia @craftoflaughter

Liz Jo said...

I feel so bad for Anna Duggar! That poor woman.

Wait, it's violent in the St. paul/Minneapolis area?? That's so scary!

liz jo @ sundays with sophie

Brooke Knipp said...

Pregnancy lips, oh my. Welp, if she needs to have large lips to feel better and to tell us all that they occurred naturally to feel justified in having them, so be it. I think it's silly and strange-looking, but to each her own.

geeksdiet said...

It's funny, I saw a TV ad for Ashley Madison once and I thought it was some kind of marriage counselling! Half of me thinks it's hilarious, but I also wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Caitlin Cheevers said...

Great roundup! :)
xo, Caitlin
And Possibly Dinosaurs

Neely said...

I sent this post to my husband he loved it!