As I recover from my AFE in August, I feel like I have really been on this greater journey to figure out what is next for me. I don't feel at peace with any of it and I don't know how I'm going to get there but you can rest assured that no stone will be left un-turned. I'm exhausting every resource I can afford.
A friend of mine has talked before that she has seen a psychic in our area and has found great comfort and guidance with her readings. The only psychic I have ever seen was at the local fair when I was 18 and she was a total loon. I took nothing away from it, it was all very generic information that anyone could have rattled off but it was fun anyways. I've gone through a lot of message boards of people who have been through traumatic life events and lots of them have gone to psychics just to have some peace. My friend offered to go with me for my first reading and at this point I'm ready for anything.
I have to tell you right away, I went in with some healthy skepticism because I'm a realist if nothing, so like everything else, I go in with low expectations. She started right away asking my children's names and birth dates, and she zoned in almost immediately that I've lost two children, but one of them is tied to someone here (Jackson had a twin that I lost before 12 weeks), she sits on my left shoulder. She's being cared for by my grandmother, who wasn't nurturing while on Earth, but she is in the next realm, and she is caring for this little girl. She talked about my death, and obvious revival, but also talked about my past lives, where I've died in childbirth many times.
(Which is unnerving because I am 100% convinced I knew what was going to happen to me when they said I was going for an emergency c-section and I wonder if I knew I was going to die? This convinces me I'm not nuts.)
She told me that I have to do things for myself, get away and take care of myself. The only problem is I'll feel guilty because people will tell me I'm being selfish, and I'll want to give in and not care for myself, which will lead me to be unhappy. I can't be guilted into decisions. What else? Oh, she knew my biological father was an alcoholic and it's imperative I stay away from him; he's evil.
What also was interesting is she said that once you go to the death realm and you come back, your talents can be more pronounced. I'll observe that time flows differently (which I keep telling people but they look at me like I'm growing a third eye), my intuition will be more pronounced (I've always had a strong gut feeling but it's so intense sometimes that I feel like it's another person in me pushing me towards something) and I'm going to be able to read people and their intentions easier. (Which again, it's like I can look at a person and I immediately feel good air or bad air around them and I can't really explain it.)
The best part of the visit? Was being told that my job, what needs to be my absolute mission, is to write. That I have an unnatural talent and I need to use it. I am my own worst enemy and road block but I have to overcome that and write no matter what. I am meant to share information with people. And with that... I leave you. There was SO much from the visit that was absolutely uncanny that nobody would ever have known but she was spot on. I have to tell you I'm going to be back. I'm writing feverishly. My next obstacle is to find someone who can do regression therapy- I want to go back to the moment Lucy was delivered and see, with my own eyes, what happened. I feel like I will always have this hole in me until I have that. So I begin my search for that.
Have you ever been to a psychic? Would you ever?