Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Back to school... the struggle is real.

I am the first one to tell you that school honest to goodness should be year round. I am not that mom that needs/wants this much together time with my kids. I love them to bits but at some point I am sick of the noises and messes they make. 

Admittedly, I was kind of nervous for the start of the school year because with all of my disabilities and limitations, change is not great for me. It's like a fish swimming upstream, I can't just turn around and go the other direction, my brain just doesn't function that way anymore. With Olivia going to the middle school, it's going to be a year of firsts. I don't feel confident as a parent because it's a whole new school, new way of doing things, at the same time I'm letting go a little bit of the control. It's up to her to do homework, solve problems, arrange her after school activities at school, ask for help if she needs it, etc. Whereas Jackson is still at elementary school and I know what the expectations are. I know where he is, what he's doing, I know the routine- we've already done it before. 

Also new this year? Olivia rides the bus! At first she was excited. Over summer she got a little annoyed because friends are still being driven to school and she doesn't know why she has to take the bus. Well, you have to take the bus because school starts at 8 and I'm not trying to get up and moving that early with three other kids. So on the first day she wanted me to walk with her to the bus stop. 
So I did. And we spoke to the neighbor who informs us there are lots of kids (usually) and in the winter the stop isn't always shoveled/plowed out. Super. But Olivia was very nice, and I could tell she was so anxious to get on the bus. 

Because she's a good girl she obliged with a quick photo before the bus stopped. I started tearing up because it really hit me in that moment that she's moving into a new phase of childhood, one that I won't get to dictate or control- I'm just a bystander offering support and guidance when she needs it. It's really up to her and I can only hope that everything I tried to teach her about being good in the world made some kind of impression on her. So as I'm thinking all of this, and I'm feeling anxious and a little bit sad but also very proud, the bus pulls up and I tried to give her a hug but she instead said, "Mom, stop crying. It's fine. See you after school."  
And just like that, the oldest piece of my heart rolled off on the bus. The walk home is fairly short and I had to hurry because Jackson had yet to get ready and I left him to guard the house since Penelope and Lucy were still sleeping.

He is far less dramatic. My favorite boy is in fourth grade this year and that feels so weird to me. I can't even wrap my head around the fact that he's in fourth grade. It seems like just yesterday I was bringing him to 4K and he was so sad to not be with Olivia.
He's a different kid, he's sensitive but doesn't want to show it. All of his friends are essentially girls, he doesn't really fit in with all of the other boys at school and they aren't particularly nice to him. He's a weird little kid but he's the sweetest and funniest. He has a distinct laugh that he can't control and he isn't always confident in himself. I think it's hard being raised among all girls but I keep thinking he's going to be a great partner for someone someday. He let me take his picture in front of his locker and when I turned around, he was gone. Just like that. No hug, no kiss, nothing. 

Sigh.

I went all day just dying to know how it was going for either kid. It was far too quiet in the house. I told Olivia I would try to meet her at the bus stop after school, and it was a nice day so I managed to get both girls in the stroller by myself and I walked for a few blocks with them.
Penelope kept saying, "Sissy, are you??" as loud as she could, as if Olivia was going to jump out and surprise her. 
Finally! We saw the bus coming down the street and the girls were SO excited. 
The only picture Olivia would let me take of her coming off the bus and she was clearly embarrassed that we were even there. HA! But it was great to see her. She had a great first day and absolutely loves middle school.

Did I mention it was also her birthday?! Yes. I'll talk about her birthday and how great that was later this week. Tomorrow we are going to talk about a GREAT book for back to school that I think you all need in your life. Truly. It was hilarious.

1 comment:

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

I don't understand the American school year, here down under the school year is from January to December broken into four school terms. We have two weeks of term 3 left before the kids are off for another two weeks.