Friday, February 9, 2018

And then Jesus gave us charcoal?

Every once in awhile I see ads on Facebook for some bizarre fad and I think it's because I sometimes end up in a wormhole of weird when I'm bored, so the Internet believes I'm into this kind of thing. But lately I've had some serious insomnia and so I often find myself on Amazon. 

The Amazon app is worst than Alexa could ever be. Because I find one thing I like and suddenly I'm clicking through the "You might also like..." and all of a sudden I have a cart full of crap. I'm adding things to my Wish List. I'm debating whether or not I really need this and then I see it. 

Activated Charcoal Toothpaste. 

I remember my Facebook ads. The twenty something babies (Yes, if you are under 30 you are a baby to me. You don't even know what life is, darling.) smiling with their freshly brushed teeth, blindingly white, I remember these ads and I think yes. Yes, I do need activated charcoal toothpaste with additional teeth flossers and bamboo toothbrush. 
 I sure do. 

Then I start researching it and I start to second guess my logic on this because where the hell am I going to warrant white teeth? Like freakishly white? 

Nowhere. 

But it comes and I was scared of it for a solid two days. On day three Matt tells me I need to use it or return it. So I try it. 
 Here's what I know: it has no flavor. It's a weird texture and I think that's what gets people. But a little bit goes a long way, don't go loading up the brush.  
The stuff makes a damn mess. I have to wash my sink with cleaner every single time I use it so my bathroom always smells like bleach, which isn't a bad thing. I'm alright with that. You do need to brush your teeth following it, which makes me wonder if its really the charcoal whitening your teeth or the vigorous brushing you have do to get it off your teeth? I have no idea. 

I've used it once a day for a week now and I notice no difference. Some people say I need to do it twice a day and give it more time but I don't know, I feel like some progress should be happening. 

I think I'll stick to toxic white strips. 

3 comments:

Krysten Quiles said...

The brand of probiotics that I use, Hyper Biotics, has an activated charcoal toothpaste that I like, although I have nothing to compare it to because it's the only charcoal toothpaste I've ever used. It doesn't taste terrible and no messy cleanup.

Shooting Stars Mag said...

I've seen these around a lot but never had the inclination to try. hah It does seem way too messy - and sorry it's not showing much difference. You think it would by now!

-Lauren
www.shootingstarsmag.net

Life Love & High Heels said...

I bought some of this myself about a year ago. Same thing- tried it a few times, but the MESS it left? omg no. I ended up throwing it out. I can't clean my sink that much. No way. I did however buy a Groupon for professional cleaning and I'm not sure it really did anything either. I've done it in the past and noticed a difference, but even the dentist doing it this last time was like- um, your teeth are already pretty white, I'm not sure it'll be really noticeable. Oh well?